Conflict Resolution Tips

Conflict Resolution Tips - How To Deal With Unreasonable People

Sharpen Your Conflict Resolution Skills - What To Do When Someone Makes Unreasonable Demands Of You!

By Anna Johnson

Do you have an unreasonable boss? An unreasonable client? (An unreasonable spouse :) )

You know, someone who makes unreasonable demands of you - like expecting you to produce impossible results in unrealistic timeframes... without the people, time, budget or other necessary resources to deliver those results?

If you do, here's some conflict resolution tips for responding to their unreasonable demands.

It's actually based on some advice I recently gave to a good friend of mine after he came to me wanting to improve his conflict resolution skills.

Basically, my friend is the Chief Technology Officer (CTO) of a growing technology company, who reports directly to the CEO.

Now this CEO happens to habitually make unreasonable -- in fact, outlandish -- demands of his people. So it came as no surprise that he recently asked my friend to (in my friend's words) "fly to the moon... in a rubber dinghy."

My friend was tempted to tell the CEO "no" and that what he wanted was impossible.

A logical response perhaps. But also the type of response that would send the CEO into a spasm! (Like many CEOs, he's not the kind of guy who takes kindly to the word "no.")

But the other problem my friend faced in saying no or it's impossible was that the CEO would never appreciate just how unreasonable his demands were... let alone actually provide my friend with the resources necessary to meet those demands.

So rather than say "no", I advised my friend to take a totally different approach. I encouraged him to say: "Yes, here's what I need..." and then specify all the resources he would need to fulfill the CEO's vision.

Initially, my friend objected, "He's never going to give me the money or the people to do that."

But I reassured him, "that's not your decision. It's his. Your job is to tell him what you need to produce what he wants."

In fact, an unreasonable boss is likely to have one of three reactions to this response:

1. They'll see that what they've asked for is unreasonable, and lower their expectations.

2. They'll somehow give you what you need to do the job.

3. They won't believe you.

And if they don't believe you, they don't trust you - which is a much bigger problem than having a boss or client with unrealistic expectations!

So... next time someone asks YOU to do the impossible, don't say "no." Say, "Yes, here's what I need...". Then explain what YOU need from your boss or client in order to deliver what he or she wants. (Just make sure you're being realistic and reasonable with yourself when you detail what you need from your boss or client!).

from : http://www.howtomanagepeople.com/conflict-resolution-tips.html